A Blonde asks a woman, "Excuse me, what time is it right now?" The woman replies, "It's 11:25PM." The Blonde with a confused look on her face replies, "You know, it's the weirdest thing. I've asked that question thirty times today and every time someone gives me a different answer."

A blonde, carrying a baby in her arms, enters a pharmacy and asks to use the infant scale to weigh the baby. The clerk explains that the infant scale is out for repair, but she could figure out the infant's weight by weighing mother and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. "Oh, that will never work!" groaned the blonde. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt!"

A blond man, Mark, was going to France over the summer. So he asked the advice of his friend, who had been to Paris last year. "Oh!" his friend said, "The food in France is fabulous! Be sure to ask about their frog legs." "FROG legs? Really?" Mark couldn't believe it. "Yeah. It seems strange, doesn't it?" Mark agreed to ask. A month later, Mark flew to France. He had a wonderful time seeing the sights, and forgot all about his friend's advice until his very last night, right before dinner. He was already seated at a table, and soon a waiter walked up to him to take his order. "Well..." Mark pondered, "I'm not sure what I want." He decided to ask, then and there. "Say- do you

All members of Mensa have I.Q.s of at least 140. At one Mensa convention, several members at a local cafe noticed the shaker with an S on top, for salt, contained pepper and their pepper shaker, with a P on top, was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling anything and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, here was the marvellous Mensa mystery! They presented ideas, debated them, and finally came up with what they felt was a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the blonde waitress over to dazzle her with their solution. "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains s

Q: Why do blondes smile when lightning strikes? A: They think they're getting their photo taken.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. Copper is a brown-red color, correct? This is scientific evidence to back up blonde jokes!

There was a blonde that was chopping at a tree near the neighbor's house. Suddenly it fell over and hit the neighbor's house. The neighbor came out and said, "You just crashed a tree on our house!" The blonde replied, "Well, since it's an hour house, it'll be gone in 60 minutes."

#1: When her teacher said to write an essay, she brought in a sheet of paper saying "An Essay." #2: When she caught on fire nearby a lake, she called the fire department. #3: She drank a bottle of root beer and said, "This doesn't taste like beer, or roots." #4: She gave 200 dollars to a cashier for a small bag of chips and said, "Keep the change." #5: When she heard that 1 of the 3-porta potties, each next to each other, was out of order, she walked 10 miles to the ocean. #6: When she saw an old person she said, "At least I'm young." #7: When she was suing someone, she thought that she was killing herself because she was on the counter sues side. #8: When she realized someone in weap

What do you get when two blonds fight? A Stupid Fight.

A redhead, brunette and a blonde went to the doctor. As they sat in the waiting room, the redhead got bored and went to the small fishbowl in the middle of the room where a goldfish swam around happily. The redhead stared at the goldfish and the fish also stared back. After 1 minute, the redhead tilted her head to the left and the fish swam in that direction. She tilted her head to the right and the fish also swam to the right. The brunette saw this trick, was impressed and asked the redhead how she did it. "Easy", replied the redhead. "It's just mind over matter." So the brunette stared at the fish and the fish also stared back. After 3 minutes, the brunette tilted her head to the left

"Hey, you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied, and the judge next day fined her twenty-five dollars for speeding. She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined her checkbook, should learn of the incident. Then inspiration struck and she marked the check stub, "One pullover, $25."

One day, a blond put an advert in the library to start a marching band. 20 other blonds saw this advert and signed up. At their first destination they played "Oh, when the saints". At their second destination they played the same song. At their third destination they played the same song yet again! When they arrived at their fourth destination a member of the crowd butted in and kicked one of the drummers. The blond that started the group said, "Why did you do that?" The guy replied "Well, you've killed all of the people in the world because your band is rubbish but loud, so pretty much all the people are saints and they're marching into heaven, so stop playing!" The blond replied "We wer