My brother and I were sitting at the computer reading the daily teaser from the past week. I read the last one (April 30th 2006) and my sister(who is a blonde) walks in to get a drink. I'm reading a line that says:"But, madam!", replied the bellman, and my sister walks up behind me and says "What did you call me?!" and I say, "Well I didn't call you any thing. I was reading this joke and she says, "Oh well I thought you were calling me a damn bitch!"

One day, a blonde decided to build a brick wall, so she went to a home depot. While a worker was walking down an aisle, he saw the blonde walking around in circles looking confused, so he went over and asked her what she wanted to make. She answered that she wanted to make a brick wall. Then the worker asked her what size; after thinking thoroughly she answered, "And they say blondes are stupid; how am I supposed to know? There is no fence to measure."

Q: Why do blondes insist on guys wearing condoms? A: So they'll have a doggie bag for later. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A: "Are you sure it's mine?" Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus? A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, the other is a walrus Q: What does a blonde say after she graduates from college? A: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds." Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide and seek champ. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A space invader. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. Q: Why did the blo

"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door. "It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street. He'd been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute." "What did you do?" asks the bartender. "I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry, we still have one engine left." A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one m

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. -She tripped over the cordless phone. -She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. -She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. -At the bottom of the application where is says "Sign here", she wrote Sagittarius. -If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. -When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved. -She got an AM radio. It took her 9 months to figure out that she could use it at night. -She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "Concentrate".

There was a newlywed couple on their honeymoon in Antarctica. The bride asks her husband to gather berries; the husband asked, "Why do you want berries; we are in Antartica?" She replied with, "I was just wondering if you would and if your penis shriveled, because my nipples are hard and if your penis does shrivel, I can heat it up in my vagina when you got back." The husband ran out looking for berries. When he came back she asked, "What took you so long?" He then said, "Can we fuck now or what?" She said as long as you're not frost bit." So they went up to their room and started kissing furiously; the next thing he knew, she was giving him the greatest head he had ever gotten. Then he laid

One day a blonde went into a restaurant and decided she was going to order the free birthday dessert, even though it wasn't her birthday. A month later on her real birthday she went back to the restaurant with her family, and they had the same waiter. She ordered the dessert again and the waiter recognized her. This was her excuse: "Oh that wasn't me that was my twin sister." Let's just say she wasn't going back anytime soon.

A pregnant woman was on a bus. As the bus was going along, the woman started to give birth. An off-duty doctor rushed to her side and started to help her. He shouted to the rest of the bus, "Can someone help me?" Then towards the back of the bus a blond got up and smashed the back window. The doctor turned to her and said, "What did you do that for?" The blond replied, "Well it said on the window, In emergency, break glass."

Q: How does a blonde moon walk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

A blonde, brunette, and redhead all go into a building to take an emergency course. After a few minutes of introductions, the instructor of the course starts to talk about fire. "Wherever you see a fire, you need to call 911, imediately." After an hour or so of the lecture, the brunette makes an excuse to get out of there, by saying she needs a drink. 2 minutes later she comes running back in, with fire fighters behind her, and she yells, "There's a fire!" They all run out, and after a few minutes the fire fighters come back out, and say, "We can not find a fire." The blonde suddenly screams out "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT" she gestures towards the redhead, "THE FIRE IS ON HER HEAD."

A blonde and her husband go to buy her new clothes. First, they decide she needs a new shirt, so they go through a few shirts but she rejects them all. Finally she points at one that she likes, but he thinks it is ugly, so he says no. They go through almost the whole store, and she says no to all of the shirts. Bored and annoyed, the husband finally goes up to the shirt she likes and generously "Fine, do you want this polo shirt?" The wife thinks for a few seconds and says "Oh, it's a polo shirt? In that case no, I'm really not into sports."