Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a tortoise? A: The blond is better on her back than the tortoise.

A man is passing a blonde and he says, "Where are those legs going?" and the blonde answers, "They are going home for now unless something comes between them."

3 blondes caught a goldfish, and the fish said if they let her go she will grant them one wish each. The first blonde said: "I want to be smart." The second said: "I want to be smarter than her," and the third said: "I want to be the smartest." In the morning they woke up and the first blonde turned into a brunette, second black and the third one had become a man.

Have you heard about the blonde that started writing a diary of all her thoughts? Yes, after 3 years she is on the second page now.

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend asked, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HellOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."

What do you call it when you hear Vrrrrm.ERT.Vrmmm.Ert? Answer: A Blond at A Blinking Red Light.

When my wife and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. My wife went up to the hostess (who was blonde) and asked, "Will it be long?" The hostess, ignoring her, kept on writing in her book. My wife again asked "How much of a wait?" The blonde looked up, "About ten minutes." A short time later, the blonde got on the loudspeaker, and announced "Willette B. Long, your table is ready."

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? A: She was afraid she might get hearing aids.

Q:What did the blonde's right leg say to her left leg? A:Nothing, they haven't met yet.

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger: Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!

A policeman pulled a blonde over because she was driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people are leaving.

Blondes are like pool tables - every time you put a dollar in, she'll rack your balls.