On the first day of their Honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "Because it's Lent." Almost in tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! To whom did you lend it, and for how long?"

Two blondes were starting a round of golf together. On the first tee, the first blonde smacked a beautiful drive down the center of the fairway. With a smile, she picked up the tee and walked to the cart. The second blonde cranked another good drive down the center of the fairway. Pleased, she hopped in the cart. When they arrived at the golf balls, they noticed that they were ten yards apart. "That's mine up there," said the first blonde, pointing to the ball closer to the green. "No way, I outdrove you easily," said the second blonde. Before you know it, fists were flying. After a brief scuffle, the second blonde stopped and said, "I know how we can solve this problem!" "How?"

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven. God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 5th step He would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter Heaven. The brunette went first and started laughing on the 45th step, so she could not enter Heaven. The redhead went next and started laughing on the 200th step, so she could not enter Heaven either. Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing. "Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke." "I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first joke."

A blond named Pam is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with Regis Philbin Regis: "Pam, you're up to $500,000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?" Pam: "Yes." Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush." Pam: "I'd like to phone a friend. I'd like to call Carol." Carol (also a blond) answers the phone: "Hello?" Regis: "Hello Carol, it's Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar que

There were two blondes who went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

Q: Why did the blond crash her helicopter? A: Because she was cold and decided to turn off the ceiling fan!

Why does a blonde keep lowering her head in the supermarket? She is looking for low prices.

What does a blonde have on her when she is naked? A working uniform.

How would you drown a blond? Put a mirror at the bottom of the swimming pool

How does a blond turn the light on after sex? ANSWER: She opens the car door.

Why does the blond take off the doors from the bathroom when she is having a wash? ANSWER: So no one would look through the keyhole.

Why is it good to have a blond in your car? ANSWER: You can park on places for disabled