CNN gets news that 100 blonds are killed in a train accident at Marylebone station. Only one blond left alive. The correspondent goes to her and asks, "Miss, how did it happen?" Blond: "Oh don't ask about it. All were right as long as all were waiting on the platform for the train. Then came the announcement that 'The bakerloo line will arrive on platform number 2' so when everyone heard that the train is coming on the platform, everyone ran to the rails to save their lives, and the train arrived on the rails!!!" Correspondent: "Thank god you thought well and didn't go to the rails" Blond: "Oh no, I was on the rails for committing suicide and after the announcement I came to the platform

This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field. "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?" The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat." The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field. "It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name." The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders an

The phone call... A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?" And his lovely wife replies, "I don't have any idea who it was. It was some stupid woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?" "Not really," the blonde replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train." "Poor dear," Mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?" "I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there."

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds. The blonde follows the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she'd indeed lost twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions - "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?" The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still wa

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "That's easy," he replied. "You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track." "What sort of question would you ask Doctor?" "Well, you might ask them..." "Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?" The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh - "You wouldn't happen to have a

Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop. When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver: "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?" The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry." Hearing this, the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: "Will it take ME?"

The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes: "Parking for drive-through customers only!"

A blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor. Doctor: What was your dream about? Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire! Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what was the scenery like? Blonde: I was running in a hall way. Doctor: Then what happened? Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always came to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge! Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it? Blonde: Yes it did. Doctor: And what did these letter spell? Blonde: It said "Pull"

There were three babys - a blond, a redhead, and a brunet. They were fighting over who's mommy had the best bra. The first baby says "My mom has a foam bra." The second says "My mom has gel straps." The blond baby says "Well, the tag on my moms bra says double D." The blond won the fight.

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"