How many blondes does it takes to screw in a lightbulb? three: one to unscrew it one to buy a new lightbulb one to call her boyfriend to screw it back in.

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said. "Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping ho

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself." "You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."

When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life. "Uh, I hadn't really thought about it," admitted the stunned surgeon. You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the brunette, "C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" The brunette jumps and the firemen are unable to position the blanket properly. Sadly, the brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato. Then, the redhead steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" "Oh no! You're gonna put blanket in the wrong place!" "No! We've go it covered! We'll catch you!" yell the firemen. The redhead jumps and, again, the firemen are unable to position the blanket properly. Sadly, the redhead als

One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife about leaving her keys in the ignition of her car. "If I take them out of the car I lose them," she reasoned. "Yes dear, but what if someone steals your car?" the husband countered. "Oh that's okay," the wife chirped happily, "I keep a spare key in the glove box!"

One day a blond from Cali decides to move take a trip to North Carolina to see her brunette friend. Of course, being a blond, she assumes that NC is like a whole different country. When she gets there her friend is driving her back to the house. The blond asks "Do those traffic lights mean something different here?" and the brunette, playing a prank on the blond, says "Yes. When the light it green, all the brunettes go. When the light is yellow, all the red heads go, and when the light is red, all the blonds go." The very next day the blond goes to pick up some groceries for her and her friend. The light turns green. A lot of cars go and the blond is thinking, "Well, there su

Why did the blonde run out of shampoo? She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!

An agitated patron calls on to the blond waiter and inquired why there was a footprint on his meal. "Well," the innocent-looking blond waiter replied. "You rushed in here, ordered an omelette and asked me to step on it."

A blond was using a pager for the first time. When the operator instructed her to key in "10" to leave a voice message, she followed and after the beep, said, "Excuse me, may I speak to Zeron please?"

Q. How did the blond injure herself raking leaves? A. She fell out of the tree!

Did you hear about the blond who tried to hijack a submarine? She demanded $100,000 and a parachute.