Why is a football pitch so cold? Because of all the fans

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Patriots fan, a Falcons fan, an Eagles fan, and a Steelers fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die-hard" fan. Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Patriots fan proclaimed to the other three... "This is for the New England Patriots!" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice. Not to be outdone by a Patriots fan, the Falcons fan jumped up and said... "This is for the Atlanta Falcons!" and then threw himself off the mountain, again as a form of sacrifice. Refusing to be outdone by the Patriots and Falcons fans, the Steelers fan rose to his feet and yel

A man said to his golfing friend, "I hit two of my best balls yesterday!" "Oh yeah?" "Yeah, I stepped on a rake in the bunker."

ok, If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the Jags, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers known as Bucs, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I t

Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Oakland Raiders team for '98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win. Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away! He threw another grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away! A car passes going 80 miles (120 km) an hour, and he send another grenade right into the barely open window. "I

Fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks: "Any luck?" "Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday," he boasts. "Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger. "Nope." "Well, meet the new game warden." "Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?" "Nope." "Meet the biggest liar in the state!"

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to ru

The football players were doing very well in their games, but when it came to academics, they were failing. So the administrater of the school, who desired all of his students to graduate, talked to the coach of the football team and said, "Coach, if ONE of your football players can answer a single math problem, I will not get rid of the football team, but if he gets it wrong, I'm afraid I will have to throw out the team. When the team was gathered up and a player was selected to answer the problem, the administrator asked him, "Okay, what is 3 + 4?" The football player thought and thought and thought and thought. After five hours and multiple countings on his fingers, the player said, "

Recently a family court judge was interviewing a 15 yr. old boy, asking him which parent he wanted to live with, his mother or father? The kid said he didn't want to live with either one -- that both of them beat him all the time. The kid said he wanted to live with the Dallas Cowboys -- they never beat anybody!

Did you know in 1923, the following men were considered some of the world's most successful men . . . at least they found the secret of making money. Whereas, in 1987, more than 60 yrs. later, do you know what became of these men? The president of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper. The president of the largest gas company, Howard Hopson, went insane. The president of the New York Stock Exchange, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad insolvent. The president of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself and the greatest bear on Wall Street, Casabee Rivermore, died by suicide. The sam

An old country boy pulls up to a bait shop with a stringer full of fish. A man, noticing the stringer, asks him where he caught all the fish. He said he was going fishing again, tomorrow, and if the guy wanted to come with him he'd show him where he caught the fish. The next morning the two men meet at the bait shop and head out for the lake. They row out to the middle of the water and the good ole boy pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it and throws it in the water. All kinds of fish float to the surface and he starts pulling them in the boat. His buddy is shocked! He says, "You know, what you're doing is not only improper but highly illegal. I just want you to know you could rece