In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers. They shoot a six, yell fore, and write five.

This guy and a girl were in a golf cart and the guy drops his tees out of his pocket and the lady asks what is he doing? So, the guy says: I put my balls on them and I drive them.

A man is out playing golf one day when he whacks the ball harder then usual. It goes soaring in the air, and the golfer yells, "FORE!" He runs over to find his ball, and he sees a guy holding his head in pain. The man is shouting "I will sue you, and I will win 1 thousand dollars!" The golfer replies "But I yelled 'fore,' so you can't sue me." The man replies: "Four, thats better than just one! I'll take it!"

A golfer hits a wicked slice off the tee that ricochets through the trees and into the next fairway narrowly missing another golfer. When the first golfer gets to his ball he is greeted by his unintended victim who angrily tells him of the near miss. "I'm sorry, I didn't have time to yell fore," says the first golfer. "That's funny" replies the second, "you had plenty of time to yell 'SHIT!'"

Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a season when neither the Browns nor the Steelers made the post season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great rivalry. So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. So on a cold freezing day on Lake Erie they began their contest. The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers had 100. At the end of the 2nd day the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers 200. That evening the Browns coach

This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins, and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend. The priest says, "Oh, okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language." The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue. "Well, father, I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church." The priest says, "And you got upset over that, and swore?" The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees." The priest said, "And that's wh

What is the name of the baseball player who sits under a tree? Babe Root!

The following event actually happened to a famous basketball coach. "When I first got a job as La Salle University's basketball coach, the phone rang and my wife told me it was Sports Illustrated. I cut myself shaving and fell down the steps in my rush to get the phone. When I got there, a voice on the other end said, 'For just 75 cents an issue...'"

THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU! With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks - possibly a whole year - as a result of the strike. But now you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day - that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV - you can help a basketball player remain economically viable during his time of need. Two thousand dollars a day may not seem li

One day Peyton Manning dies and goes to heaven. Upon arrival, he's given a nice sized house, and a few of his trophies and some Colts apparel is set up around the house to honor his days as a QB. One day, as he's walking along the golden streets, he hears the news that Ben Roethlisberger has died. As he looks up, he sees this ridiculously large mansion - a big, BIG mansion. The building is completely decked out and covered in Ben Roethlisberger banners and flags and paraphanelia. Peyton is a little put out, so he goes to see God. "God," he says when he meets him, "I don't think this is very fair. I mean, I WAS the better quarterback. Just look at my record and my stats! Do you think it's f

A 14-year old boy was helping his mom wash the dishes after dinner on a beautiful day. He says, "Mom, can I go outside? I want to play football." His mom says, "OK, but on one condition: you let your little brother play with you and your friends." The teenager replied with, "But mom, we already tried that. This time I want to play with a real football!"

It was Superbowl Sunday for the animals, and the Elephants were playing the Cows. The whole first half of the game, the Elephants got their butts whipped. The cows were winning by a mile. By halftime, the Elephants were about ready to give up. But at the start of the second half, a new player ran on to the field. It was a Centipede! He was so fast the cows couldn't even get within five feet of him. In no time, the Elephants had twice as many points as the cows. At the end of the game, the coach of the Elephants thanked the centipede for helping them win the Super Bowl. "But I just want to know, why didn't you come out until halftime?" The centipede answered, "It took me that long to put my