Sarah's grandson is playing in the water, while she is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the boy is in the ocean. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. He simply vanished. Sarah holds her hands to the sky and cries, "God, how could you? Have I not been a wonderful mother and grandmother? Have I not given to B'nai Brith and Haddasah? Have I not tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?" Just then, another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there, smiling, splashing around as if

Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

Johnny was walking down the street pulling his wagon when he stubbed his toe. He was swearing like crazy when a priest comes up to him and says "Johnny, I wouldn't say such things, God is everywhere." Intrigued by the priest's comment, he questions the priest. "Is God over there?" he says pointing to a tree. "Yes Johnny, God is over there by that tree!" says the priest. "Is god right here?" Johnny said pointing right beside him. "Yes Johnny God is right beside you." says the priest. "Is God in my red wagon?" asks Johnny. "Yes Johnny, God is in your red wagon." says the priest. "Is god in my basement?" asks Johnny. "Yes Johnny, God is in your basement." says the priest. Johnny screa

A small boy stunned his parents after Sunday School when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked the obvious question, "Where did you get all that money?" "At church," the boy replied nonchalantly. "They have bowls of it."

Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but then she was called to her reward. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold on, Sister Margaret, not so fast!" "But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the Lord. From the time I was taken in as an infant by the sisters at the convent to my dying breath, I have lived for this moment!" Sister Margaret exclaimed in disbelief. "That is just the problem," replied St. Peter, "you never learned right from wrong and to get into heaven, you must know the difference between right and wrong". "Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get into heaven!" Sister Margaret pleaded. "I am going to have to send

-During a thunderstorm, you build a giant boat and start stealing your neighbor's pets. -When the boss criticizes your work, you hack off your right ear and mail it to him. -Not only do you consider Yoko an artistic genius, you think she's beautiful and has a lovely singing voice. -While working under the sink, you get this insatiable urge to paint a church ceiling. -Out of luck winos are bringing you jugs of water. -You're found writing down rules of the office on giant stone tablets.

Two Hindu swamis were in conversation. One said to the other, "How did you like my latest book, 'The Art of Levitation'?" His companion replied, "It kept me up all night."

Always be well informed A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said,"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak." Arrivi

The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him. Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, "A-a-a-men!"

"It's no use. Art doesn't listen to me," said a little boy who was praying for a new bike. "Art who?" asked the boy's mother. "Art in heaven," came the reply.

Q: How do babies get their belly buttons? A: When God finishes making little babies, He lines them all up in a row, then he walks along in front of them. He pokes each one in the tummy with His finger and says, "You're done, you're done, you're done, - - -"

A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months. He passed the physical examination; then came the oral exam to test his ability to act quickly and wisely in an emergency. Among other questions he was asked, "What would you do to disperse a frenzied crowd?" He thought for a moment and then said, "I would take up a collection."