Redneck Christmas Shopping You know you're a redneck when... you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

Two good ole boys down in Alabama were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer...After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?" The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it sure would make us even."

You might be redneck if you've totaled every car you've owned.

You might be a redneck if you answer to more than one nickname.

You might be a redneck if you have orange road cones in your living room!

You might be a redneck if your toenail clippers say craftsman on the side!

You might be a redneck if you've never stayed in a hotel without stealing something

You might be a redneck if you've ever videotaped a dog loving on someone's leg.

You know you're a redneck if your fence doubles as your clothesline

You know you're a redneck if you have season tickets for the tractor pull.

You know you're a redneck if you would rather your son have his own hunting show than become a doctor.

You know you're a redneck if a city night on the town includes city jail.