After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy." He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered his wife, Lizzy, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it. Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed,

Redneck Christmas Shopping You know you're a redneck when... you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

Two good ole boys down in Alabama were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer...After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?" The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it sure would make us even."

You might be redneck if you've totaled every car you've owned.

You might be a redneck if you answer to more than one nickname.

You might be a redneck if you have orange road cones in your living room!

You might be a redneck if your toenail clippers say craftsman on the side!

You might be a redneck if you've never stayed in a hotel without stealing something

You might be a redneck if you've ever videotaped a dog loving on someone's leg.

You know you're a redneck if your fence doubles as your clothesline

You know you're a redneck if you have season tickets for the tractor pull.

You know you're a redneck if you would rather your son have his own hunting show than become a doctor.