You are a redneck if: you have the same number of teeth as you have fingers.

You are a redneck if: you've ever killed someone over a "kick me" sign.

You are a redneck if: you've ever searched for gold in your grandpa's chest and had your fingers taken off by the booby trap within.

You are a redneck if: you won money of your dead grandpa by playing poker with him.

You are a redneck if: you've ever had to towel dry after a fart.

You are a redneck if: you have a glass eye collection.

You are a redneck if: Your pet groundhog has ever bitten more than one of your thumbs off.

You are a redneck if: one wall of your home is a tarp.

You are a redneck if: you've shaved off your eyebrows and taped them to a little kid's back.

You are a redneck if: You've ever bought steel-toed boots, only to remove the steel to patch a hole in your trailer.

You are a redneck if: you've ever had a family feud over a litter of coondogs.

You are a redneck if: you use a handful of creek mud as birth control.