Wonder if you are a redneck....Well, if you have been married four times and still have the same in-laws you must be.

You might be a redneck if when someone says: "Do you have any duct tape?" And you say: "I don't have any ducks on tapes but I've got some on my wall."

Only a redneck visits a trailer park to look for home decorating ideas.

Once there was a redneck groom about to get married. As he puts on the beaver pelt suit, he is talking to his dad. "Hey Uncle Jim, I'm kind of worried. My fiance told me she's still a virgin." "Why is that an issue?" the dad says. "Well, if she isn't good enough for her family, why would she be good enough for ours?"

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These North Carolina, South Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists: 1. The season opened today 2. There is no limit 3. They taste just like chicken 4. They don't like beer, pickups, Harley Davidson's, country music or Jesus 5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt This mess in Iraq should be over IN A WEEK

You might be a redneck if..... you went weeks without food or shelter just so you could have front row seats to a Brooks-n'-Dunn concert.

You're a redneck if: The only thing you swing a bat at is a mailbox.

You are a redneck if: Your mother has ammo on her Christmas list!

You are a redneck if: Directions to your house include ''Turn off the paved road...''

You are a redneck if: You like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk.

You Are A Redneck If: You light a match in your bathroom and it blows your house off its wheels!

You are a redneck if: Your shotgun is named after your girlfriend.