Why is Alabama the smartest state in the U.S.? It has four "A"s and a "B".

If you think I'm a redneck tell that to my kids: Bobby Sue, Buck, Jim Bob, Bubba, Enus, Jed, Dwayne, Billy Bob, Clitus, Dale, Otis, Coy, Bo, Hattie, Cooter, Wade, Larlene, Clint, Delmont and Luther.

How can you tell if a redneck is married? There are tobacco stains on both sides of his pickup.

You might be a redneck if . . . you have been married three times and you still have the same in-laws, You think TACO BELL is a Mexican Phone Company, Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back, You think Possum is "The Other White Meat", You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.

You Know You Are in a Redneck Church When... People wonder, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale". Four generations of the same family sit together in worship. Baptism is referred to as "branding". People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, yah hear?"

You might be a redneck if... The idea for the Budweiser frogs came from listening to you and your friends trying to read the label on the bottle.

You might be a redneck if... You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can't remember how old your children are.

You might be a redneck if... You are having marital problems because your wife never lets you win at arm wrestling.

...you have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.

...you carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

...a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

You might be a redneck if... You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.