There were two guys from Alabama who love to fish, and they wanted to try some ice fishing. They'd heard about it up in Canada, and they took off for up there. The lakes were frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to a lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick." So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks." Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the the guy left. In about an hour, he was back. "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got." The bait man

You're probably a redneck if.................... During your wedding, when you kissed the bride, your John Deere hat fell off.

You might be a redneck if all of your good clothes have come from cases of beer!

You might be a redneck if at your wedding your tux has a sign on the back that says "sponsored by Bubba's Chicken and Waffles!"

How do you know if a family tree is a redneck's? The family tree goes straight down.

A couple are getting married in a big fancy church with all of the relatives and friends in attendance. The priest is going through the nomal procedure and when he comes to the part "If anyone objects to the union of these two people in Holy Matrimony let them speak now or for ever hold their peace". A redneck in the back row jumps up and hollers "I object, I am in love with her and she's carrying my baby!" As the gathering gasps in surprise the redneck runs up the aisle, shoves the groom aside and rips off the brides veil. After a moment of silence the redneck exclaims, "Hey you ain't my sister!"

90 percent of people in Idaho say, "Oh shit!" when in a car wreck, The other ten percent say, "Hold my beer and watch this shit!"

What breaks up a redneck orgy? When mom and dad/uncle arrive home too soon.

You might be a redneck if you carry more than two extra tires in the back of your truck.

You might be a redneck if you were married in a laundromat.

You might be a redneck if you eat cotton candy more than three times a week.

You might be a redneck if the only thing you inherited from your father was alcoholism.