You know you're a redneck if a city night on the town includes city jail.

You know you're a redneck if your bathroom towels are also your bathroom curtains.

You may be a redneck if your burglar alarm is a vacuum cleaner plugged into a motion detector.

You might be a redneck if you've ever watched a tornado from a lawn chair.

You know you're a redneck if you paint your garage with a paintball gun.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been fired for shooting spitballs.

You might be a redneck if you stare at the orange juice container because it says concentrate on it!

You might be a redneck if you ride the electric floorbuffer and mistake it for your wife!!

You might be a redneck if you wear a tube top to a funeral!

Where is the safest place to hide money from a redneck? In his work boots! How can you tell a redneck has been in your backyard? Your bike is gone and the dog is pregnant!!

How do you confuse a redneck Ask him a question that is not about NASCAR.

You Might be a Redneck If you take your family to K-Mart to see a movie.