You are stuck in a room with absolutely no doors, no windows, and no escape. You are surrounded by 415 inch think metal walls. All you have is a mirror and a table. How do you get out? Well, you look into the mirror. You saw yourself, right? Now, use the saw to chop the table in half. To halves make a whole, so jump through the hole. Then yell at the top of your lungs until your voice is hoarse, then jump on the horse and ride away! =)

Q: What did one chart say to the other? A: "My! You're awfully graphic!"

Have you heard about camping? It's intense. (In tents!)

This summer, I went on a trip to Houston. I needed to go really badly, so I stopped behind a tree. A minute later, I darted out being chased by a hungry squirrel. He wanted some nuts.

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that allowed them to claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf became a well traveled trail through the jungle. All day, every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory. The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and very publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory. While he was leading a safari through the jungle, the tra

Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money. Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job? A. After five years your job will still suck. Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? A. It's not hard. Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? A. She is the one who can eat the last donut! Q: What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs? A: One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year! Q: Why do t

Q: What do you get if you drop a piano on the seventh dwarf? A: A diminished seventh!

What did one earthquake say to another? Oops! My fault!

Once upon a time, there was a fairy called Nuff. Fair enough.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

When she told me I was average, she was just being mean. Editor's note: Mean can mean both not nice but another definition is average.

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and is going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.