Category Jokes - Puns
Why does President Clinton invite so many ladies into his private study?
He wants to show them his executive branch.
How does Clinton divert his attention from the latest controversy?
He just keeps on plugging away.
Why was everyone at the fancy King Crab Night Diner arrested?
They were breaking the claw! So punny!
One day, a depressed crocodile decides to see his doctor about his problems. He says, "Doc, I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I don't feel like killing people anymore. I don't like attacking them, I don't like wrestling them in the water, and I definitely don't like eating them." The doctor goes over to his medicine cabinet, and pulls out several tiny blue pills. In amazement, the crocodile asks his doctor, "Doc, are those what I think they are?" The doctor replies, "Yes, I'm prescribing you some Viagra." Frustrated, the crocodile tells his doctor, "I'm not sure you understand -- have you been listening to a word I've said?" The doctor replies, "Of course I've been listening, you said you h
A man's wife was in labor with their first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly the man's wife began to shout, "Shouldn't, couldn't wouldn't, didn't, can't!!"
The man said,"Doctor, what's wrong with my wife?!"
The doctor replied, "Nothing. She's just having contractions."
How are opera singers and sailors alike?
They both have to handle the high seas(Cs)!
Question:
What did the frog order at McDonald's?
Answer:
An order of french flies and a diet croak!!
Relish today, ketchup tomorrow!
A hamburger walks into the bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
I wanted to be a mime, but I talked myself out of it.
Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.
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