There once was an American Indian whose given name was "OneStone". He was so named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him OneStone. After years and years of torment, OneStone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me OneStone again, I will kill them!" Word quickly spread and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named BlueBird forgot and said, "Good morning, OneStone." He jumped up, grabbed her, and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. Then he made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. Word got around that OneStone meant what he promised he wou

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school? He was caught buttering up his teacher

It's 3 a.m. and a couple is sleeping, when suddenly someone knocks on its door. The husband wakes up and goes to see who is disturbing them in the middle of the night. He then sees a young man and when he asks him what he wants, he says furiously, "Please, it's an emergency! I really, really, really need a push!!! Please can you come to help me?" The husband, still angry from his brutal awakening, answers in a very rude way and slams the door on the poor man's face. On his way to his bed he thinks, "Why did I react in such a way? I am a good person and this man could be in a lot of trouble without his car. Maybe I should have helped him...". However, he goes back to sleep. At 4 a.m. anoth

A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked. "Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children." "Is that a record?" the caller inquired, puzzled in her turn. "I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."

A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will. At his lawyer's office, he threw his will on the table and said, "This needs an heircut."

A guy goes to a fancy French restaurant. He's feeling adventurous, so he decides to order the squid. He is told that they are kept alive in a small aquarium in the restaurant, so that they are really fresh. As he's ordered squid, he can choose which squid he would like to eat! He goes over to the aquarium and sees the squid swimming around. There's one squid that looks really sick - it's gone a strange shade of green, and even has strange fuzz growing around it's mouth. The guy is kind of grossed out, but he thinks - this poor squid - it looks really miserable, and no-one's going to choose it! Maybe I should put it out of its misery. So he asks the head chef - Gervaise - to cook up t

Why did the melon jump into the water? Because it wanted to be a watermelon!

Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex. Bill Clinton worries about getting sex from aides.

Did you hear Bill Clinton gave up playing his sax-a-phone? He now plays his whore-monica.

Why does Clinton wants a postage stamp issued in his image? So he gets licked more often.

Why was Monica Lewinsky in the White House after hours? Clinton was showing her the proper way to take "dic"tation.

What's the new name for the place where Bill Clinton does his business? The Oral Office.