Category Jokes - Puns
Q. Have you heard about the new 'Mint flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?
A. They're called Predicaments
A man was out of work, and he was combing through the want ads. He saw that a school was looking for a bus driver, so he called and was asked to come for an interview. He got the job, and was surprised when he went out and found that the bus was garishly painted with Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, and Elmo. Still, a job's a job, he thought.
As he went about his route, he stopped and picked up twin girls. These girls were rather portly, and as they entered the bus the first one said, "My name's Patty." The man asked the second twin her name and she said, "My name's Patty also."
Further along, there was a boy who was trying to put on a James Dean-esque cool image. As he got on the bus, he said,
Why did the white girl go have sex with a Mexican?
Because her teacher told her to do an ESE.
There was once a very influential farmer in a remote part of China, who had a problem. His chickens were losing their feathers and dying. He sought the counsel of the two wise men in town, Hing, who was scientist, and Ming, who was a sorcerer.
Hing, who has had many advanced course hours in poultry science, consults the classic text in poultry disease, "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Diseases of Chickens, But Were Afraid to Ask." In the book, Hing finds a reference to the report of a study showing that feeding the chickens with an infusion of gum tree leaves is often a remedy for chickens losing their feathers. Meanwhile Ming reads obscure writings of ancient wise men, he medita
Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.
Mexicans were crazy about the stuff.
The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate ("desperados") at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today.
It is known, of course, as ...Sinko de Mayo.
A couple was about to celebrate 50 years together.
Their three kids, all very successful and wealthy, agreed to a Sunday dinner in honour of their parents. As usual, they were all late and had varied excuses.
"Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad," gushed son number one. "Sorry, I'm running late... I just didn't have the time to get you a present."
"No worry," said Dad. "The important thing is that we're all together."
Son number two arrived and announced, "Just flew in from L.A. and didn't have time to get you anything... I'm sorry."
"It's nothing," said the father, "just glad you could be here today."
The daughter arrived. "Happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but I've been out of town and d
It is obvious. The downfall of the world is here. It is 2005 and we have lived on this earth for ages. I suppose it is about time for the end.
Proof? You want proof? I have all the proof you will need:
They let Brittney Spears reproduce.
Ohh that poor poor child!!
Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking female flies. One spots a real cutie sitting on a pile of horse manure and dives down toward her. "Pardon me," he says, turning on his best charm, "...but is this stool taken?"
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