"It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'"

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

Race is just a pigment of the imagination.

If all those sweet young things were laid end to end – I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

Take my wife – please!

If it wasn't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

I have a map of the world... its actual size.

What you humans call 'THE APOCALYPSE', I used to call Sunday Dinner! - Archangel, Gabriel

If your father is a poor man, it's your fate. But, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

You've probably heard: If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards. New Version: If at first you get hit below the belt, lower your belt!

Rabinovich notes: "I would prefer it the other way round."