Jersey girls aren't trash; trash gets picked up.

An elderly couple was attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do? He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

Do you think god gets stoned? I do. Look at the platypus! -Robin Williams

What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap!

Good morning is a contradiction in terms.

What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist.

You know you're addicted to wocka when your friends say something funny, and you cry out ''LOL, LOL'' instead of actually laughing out loud.

What a bullfighter tries to do. (avoid-a-bull)

too much to pay for corn ([a] buck an ear)

A fashionably dressed big cat (dandy lion)

Possessing only ten teeth. (deca-dent)

Where people wait for buses. (the-bus-station)