Lipstick; (noun) On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!

Foreign Film Any movie shown in a Texas theater that isn't a western.

Battle Where a whole lot of white men kill a few Indians. Massacre Where a whole lot of Indians kill a few white men.

Magazine Bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

Murphy's Law of Cable TV If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.

Remember the Golden Rule He who has the gold makes the rules.

Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more.

Just when you find something you really like, they stop making it.

Prudhomme's Law of Window Washing It's on the OTHER side.

Anybody can win. Unless, of course, there happens to be a second entry.

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

A person soon learns how little he knows when a child begins to ask questions.