I passed my ethics exam. Naturally, I cheated.

The person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday.

Any time four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

Don't argue with an idiot. He may be doing the same thing.

Do not try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked "petite" and hold on to the receipt.

Knowledge cannot enter the head via an open mouth.

Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to fine art.

Join the fight against brutality.

Why isn't there a tax on stuff I DON'T like?

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

When a man wants to believe something, it doesn't take much to convince him.

Grocery List; (noun) A piece of paper you spend half an hour writing, and then forget to take with you to the store.