Are you an aspirin? Because I'd like to take you every 4 to 6 hours. There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount and take back to my place. Excuse me, are you hiring? I heard you have an opening you need filled. What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper. Do you like parties? Because you can climb up my pants and have a ball! If you were vanilla ice cream and I was hot caramel, I'd pour myself all over you. Here is $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me. Girl......you are like a tall glass of water, and I'm telling you str8 up I'm thirsty. If you were a word on a piece of paper you would read (fine pr

I invented a cure for amnesia - but I've forgotten what it is!

One employee asked another, "How long have you been working here?" The second said, "Ever since the boss threatened to fire me!"

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic pork!

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!

"This storm is bad," Bob thundered.

A teacher is telling her class she has two words that will not be allowed to use. Teacher: There are two words which I will never let you use. One is gross and the other is cool. Student: So what are the words?

Why was Johnny's math book sad? It had too many problems!

jkfsh

Bob: How do you keep a turkey in suspense? Willie: I dunno. Bob: I'll tell you later...

There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrnog.

I knocked several times, but you weren't in. - Opportunity