FAMOUS LAST WORDS "One sec, I've got to go the bathroom!" :) "It doesn't hurt... that... bad..." "This stuff works just as well!" "It looks like it's coming right towards us!" "Here, let me handle this, forget the cops!" "I read this in a 'how-to' magazine once." "No I'm not a skydiver, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express Last Night." "Proper equipment is for rich people." "I don't know. Let's find out!" "I did it in a video game last night." "Did you hear that? Sounded like something big. Where's that flashlight?" And finally... "OH SHIT!!!!"

What do you call an Irishman sitting in your backyard? Paddy O'Furniture

Q. What's worse than raining cats and dogs? A. Hailing taxicabs!

If two's a company and three's a crowd... what's four and five? NINE!!!!

Ghost Stories by I.C. Spooks Rocket to the sun by R.U.Nuts Your Book of Glamour by Q.T Pie The Camel Ride by Major Bum - issore How to Grow Shorter by Neil Down How to Grow Taller by Stan Dup

What's another name for a push-up bra? False advertisement

The Chinese say: Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.

Men who walk in front of car get tired. Men who walk in back of car get exhausted.

Q: What's the difference between a girls track team and a tribe of pygmies? A: The pygmies are cunning little runts.

Middle Age: when knees buckle and belts don't.

Navy dentist's licence plate: TOP GUM

Poise: the ability to continue speaking fluently while the other fellow is picking up the cheque.