Category Jokes - One Liner
Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs. yet the mom weighs 30 lbs. more?
Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?
Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?
If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who can't walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms?
Can someone give up lent for lent?
Why do people say, "You've been working like a dog," when dogs just sit around all day?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
And why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?
Did you hear about the inexperienced terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe.
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn't they be more specific and say "employees of THIS place only"?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway, aren't they?
Did you know there is a page 666 in The Bible?
If you could walk through the walls, wouldn't you fall through the floor?
What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
Do bir
If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel
Q: What do you have when there are 100 rabbits standing in a row and they all start hopping backwards?
A: Receding hare line.
What did the tornado say to the pecan tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is not your average blow job!"
What has four hands and eats aunts? Two uncles.
What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? Usually an onion with long ears, but sometime you get a piece of ass that will make your eyes water.
You don't have to go faster than the bear, you just have to go faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the w
Save the trees - wipe your arse with an owl.
"My point-and-click interface is an Uzi submachine gun."
Saint Michael - patron saint of underpants
I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.
I'm completely sane, according to the voices in my head.
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud.
Skiing is for people who can't just break their legs around the house.
Penguins mate for life. That doesn't surprise me much cos they all look alike.
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever!
If I were a recovering s*x addict, I'd opt for group therapy.
"I hope I never do anything to bring shame on myself, my family or my other family."
"Secre
* "On the advice of our solicitors, this T-shirt bears no message at this time".
* "That's it! I'm calling me granny" (seen on a seven-year-old)
* "Rehab is for quitters"
* "My dog can lick anyone"
* "Party - my cot - 2 a.m." (on a baby-size T-shirt)
* "If a woman's place is in the home WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THIS FECKIN' CAR!"
* "They call it 'PMT' cos 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken"
* "A picture is worth a thousand words - but it uses up a thousand times the memory."
* "HAM AND EGGS - a day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig."
* "Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit."
* "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
* "The original point and click
If you want to make someone laugh, use this line:
Sorry. say that again. I couldn't hear you over my fart.
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