Take your income and add 10%

Every solution breeds new problems.

Did you hear about the new Polish million dollar lotery? You get a dollar a year for a million years!!!

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral. -- Robert Orben

Sign seen on a maternity-ward door: Push! Push! Push!

Seen on a bumper sticker: "I don't care who's on board, what you love, who you brake for or what you'd rather be doing."

"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific." -Jane Wagner

"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." -Dave Barry

Then there was the model who sat on a broken bottle and cut a good figure.

Then there was the neat nurse, who made the patient without disturbing the bed.

Then there were the three bears. One married a giraffe. The other two put him up to it.

"Madame," said the psychiatrist, "you haven't got a complex; you ARE inferior."