Interchangeable parts aren't.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

"I Give Evolution Two Opposable Thumbs Up."

Q: What do you call a sheep that does karate? A: A lamb chop

Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A: They all have phones.

Why are Democrats better than Republicans in bed? You've never heard of getting a good piece of elephant, have you?

"God give me patience....And make it quick!"

Q: What do you get when you cross a Scottish sheep with a Peruvian Mountain Goat? A: The Dolly Llama.

LOVE: A word involving four letters, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots. It refers to a disease that can be cured by marriage. ARCHITECT: A guy not "macho" enough to be an engineer and not queer enough to be an interior designer. TO DANCE: It refers to the vertical frustration of a horizontal desire. BRAIN: An organ that allows us to think we think. BOY SCOUT: A child dressed like an idiot guided by an idiot dressed like a child. HEADACHE: A woman's most trustworthy modern contraceptive. BUST: Statue of a man without hands or the parts of a woman where a man's hands have been. ORAL EXAM: A test you must pass to become an intern in the White house. A POLITICAL CANDIDATE: A pers

What do fish paint with? Water colours!

Where do fish keep their life savings? At the river bank!