What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine

True bravery is arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?

What is the definition of wicker box? It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.

What does a Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Jose and Josbe

Proverb : Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Refined by me : Behind every successful man, there is a very much surprised woman.

Q. Why do women prefer old gynecologists? A. They have shaky hands!

Q: What's green, has 3 eyes, sharp teeth, and blood on its face? A: I don't know, but it's on your shoulder!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels!

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes? A FUNNY BUNNY!

My survey which I conducted said that 8 out of 4 people don't understand fractions.

Hey! I recognize you! You're the third one over on the evolutionary scale!