Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

Progress in airline flying; Now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; if ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

"You certainly look cool." "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself."

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where you get shitty ideas from.

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part. -- Redd Foxx

"My karma ran over my dogma." -Anonymous

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!

The journey of a thousand miles ... begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.