_mz_jokes_page_title_entries

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I Saw a Woman...

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

I Don't Do Drugs.

I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

Sign

Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

I Live...

I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

I Got a Sweater...

I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

If Flying Is...

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

I Don't Approve...

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Every Day

Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

How Come?

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?