Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Where should a dressmaker live? On the outskirts of the city.

Why was the broom tired? It over swept.

Two white horses fell in the mud and three came out.

What kind of soup weighs 1000 pounds? Won ton soup!

You know that you're a really boring person when someone steals your identity and then tries to give it back.

Which came first - the chicken or the egg? It depends on who got laid first!

There was a young hooker named Gail whose price was tattooed on her tail. And on her behind, for the sake of the blind, was the same information in Braille.

Hygiene Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? Jose: Don't bite any.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.