1. Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder! 2. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Child a Dime! 3. Bush/Cheney '04: Because the Truth Just isn't Good Enough. 4. Vote Bush in '04: It's a no-brainer! 5. Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism 6. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Billionaire Behind 7. Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "con" in conservatism 8. Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for not Paying Attention 9. Bush/Cheney '04: The Last Vote You'll Ever Have to Cast 10. Bush/Cheney '04: This Time, Elect Us! 11. Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars 12. Bush/Cheney '04: Asses of Evil 13. Bush/Cheney '04: Assimilate. Resistance is Futile 14. Bush/Cheney '04: Apocalypse Now! 15. Vote Bush in '04: Because Dictatorship is Easi

Cows Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington, and they can track her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.

At a party, a man came up to a stranger and asked "Have you heard the latest Bush joke?" The man replies, "I am Bush." The man said, "Oh. I'll tell it slowly."

President Bush was visiting a classroom where a teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation. Trying to make the lesson clearer, he said, "Now, children, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run to my face." "Yes, sir," one of the girls said. "Then why is it," he continued, "that while I am standing upright the blood doesn't run to my feet?" "Because your feet aren't empty," replied a boy in the back of the room.

As governor, Bush got to act ceremonially as a state trooper for a day. While operating a speed trap, Bush pulled over a farmer. He lectured the farmer about his speed and the necessity of obeying laws made by his superiors, and in general threw his weight around. Finally, he got around to writing the ticket, and as he was doing so he kept swatting at some flies that kept buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some trouble with those circle flies there, are ya, sir?" Bush stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well, yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of circle flies." So the farmer said, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because

President Bush looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approaching him. "What is it now?" sighs the president. "It's this abortion bill," replies the aide. "What do you want to do about it?" "Go ahead and pay it," says the president.

A teacher in California asked her class, "How many of you are Republicans?" Everyone in the class raised their hands except for one girl. "Mary," the teacher inquired, "Why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Republican," she replied. "I'm a Democrat." The teacher asked her, "Why are you a Democrat?" And Mary said, "Well, my mother and my father are both Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too." "Well," said the teacher in an annoyed tone, "That's no reason why you have to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents. What if your parents were both criminals?" "Then," Mary said, "We'd be Republicans."

George Bush senior and junior were dragging the deer they had just shot back to their truck. Another hunter approached, pulling his along, too. "Sirs, I don't want to tell you how to do something," he said, "but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer the other way, then the antlers won't drag on the ground." After the other hunter left, they decided to try it. A little while later, George junior said to George senior, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah," said George senior, "but we're getting farther from the truck."

A little boy goes to his father one day and says, "Daddy, what is politics?" "Well," his father replied, "let me try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that you're the people. I'm the breadwinner of the family so we'll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we'll call her government. Your nanny will be the working class, and your baby brother is the future. Now go think about that and see if you can understand." The boy thinks about it but doesn't really get it so he goes to bed. He wakes up in the middle of the night and hears his baby brother crying. He goes to check on his brother and sees that he has soiled himself but doesn't know how to change a diaper. He goes

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident; I reattached them, and eight months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said, "That's nothing: a young man lost both arms and legs in an accident; I reattached them, and two years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse'

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The main man in China! Condi: Hu is leading China. George: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China. George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi: That's