Seen on a bumper sticker: "IF CLINTON IS THE ANSWER, THEN IT MUST BE A STUPID QUESTION." Seen on another bumper sticker: "CLINTON HAPPENS."

One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!" Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies. "I'll have those mirrors removed right away!"

* Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pay with two $16 bills. * The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits. * A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis. By the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain. * A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C. A few days later he went with his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch he went out for a sandwich. His girlfriend needed him, so she had him paged by the bailiff. Police offic

It's the end of the world as we know it... and I feel fine... Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad he told the three of them that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses and tell their friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell them though that no matter what they did he was not changing his mind. So... Bill Clinton went in and told his staff, "I have good news and bad news for you. First the good news. There is a God. The bad news is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days." Bo

California Version The latest telephone poll taken by the California Governor's office asked whether people who live in California think illegal immigration is a serious problem: 29% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem." 71% of respondents answered: "No es un problema serio."

2. Australia Version A recent survey in Australia asked the following question: Are there too many foreigners in this country now? Answer: 18% said: YES 82% said: معهد الأمن العالمي بوا! شن

There once was a President who had a law that evryone had to laugh once a hour or they spent an hour in jail.

What happens when a president gets elected in a year with a "0" at the end? 1840: William Henry Harrison (Died in Office) 1860: Abraham Lincoln (Assassinated) 1880: James A. Garfield (Assassinated) 1900: William McKinley (Assassinated) 1920: Warren G. Harding (Died in Office) 1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (Died in Office) 1960: John F. Kennedy (Assassinated) 1980: Ronald Reagan (Survived assassination attempt) And to think that we had two guys duking it out in the courts to be the one elected in 2000!

The discovery that Bush's resting heart rate is 43 has led some observers to speculate that this is the first time we've had a president with a heart rate that matches his IQ.

A group of Texans are driving down the road, whooping it up, drinking beer and shooting off their guns when they get into an accident with busload of nuns and orphans, killing everyone. The Texans go straight to Hell. When they arrive the Devil is shocked to see that they are not in agony over the heat and he demands an explanation. "Well, sir, we're from Texas, and we're used to the heat," says one. This infuriates the Devil and he cranks the thermostat up to its highest setting. The lost souls all over hell start wailing. "I'll check on them in the morning and see how they like THIS." He snorts and disappears in a ball of fire. The next morning, the Devil shows up at the Texans' camp s

Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said: "Well, George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth. And George W. Bush can't tell the difference."

3 sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten. The first one says, "I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy had eaten so much garlic I still feel sick." The second shark says, "That's nothing pal! I swallowed Boris Yeltsin last week and the old guy had so much vodka in him that I'm still drunk." The third shark laughs and said, "You lucky guys! I swallowed George W. Bush 3 weeks ago and the guy has so much air in his head, I still can't dive!"