Why don't politicians ever consider being gynocologists? They would have to deal with too much Bush every day!

Actual Anti-War Slogans for the War on Iraq These colors don't run the world. One nation under surveillance. It's the oil, stupid. War is expensive, Peace is priceless. Read between the Pipelines No More BuSh. Smart weapons, Dumb president. The only thing we have to fear is Bush himself. How many Lives per Gallon? Patriots are idiots! Matriarchy Now! Peace Takes Brains Anything war can do, peace can do better. Negotiation Not Annihilation. Another patriot for peace. How did our oil get under their sand? Go Solar, not Ballistic. Who Would Jesus Bomb? Start Drafting SUV Drivers Now. Don't blame me, I voted with the majority. Buck Fush! Resistance is Fertile. (Pictures of sheep carrying flags)

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He answered it and listened intently. After a brief moment, his face lit up with a smile. He hung up the phone and immediately called his mother to pass along the good news. "Ma, the results are in," he shouted joyously. "I won the election!" "Honestly?" his mother replied. "Aw, gee, Ma, what a time to bring that up!" he said.

While running for the Senate in New York, the young man's political advisor heard some very upsetting news. "Listen," he said, "you must go to Albany right away or you're going to lose a lot of votes. They're telling lies about you there." "I have to go to Buffalo first or I'll lose even more votes," replied the candidate. "Why? What's happening in Buffalo?" the advisor asked. "They're telling the truth about me!" replied the candidate.

On Cows and Government FEUDALISM You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk PURE SOCIALISM You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need. FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to t

Mistake: to err, to cause an error or make a mess; If a barber makes a mistake, it's a new style... If a driver makes a mistake, it is an accident... If a politician makes a mistake, it is a new law... If a scientist makes a mistake, it is a new invention... If a tailor makes a mistake, it is a new fashion... If a teacher makes a mistake, it is a new theory... If our boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake... If an employee makes a mistake, it is a "MISTAKE."

One way to take care of the world's population. The IRS has reported the "disappearance" of more than 8 million American children during the late 1980s, "caused" by tax reform legislation. That number is the total of all children claimed as dependents of beneficiaries of child care tax credits before 1987 but who were never again claimed once the IRS started requiring proof that such children existed.

President Bush toured parts of Missouri that were devastated by a recent tornado. There was one awkward moment, when the President looked at the tornado damage and said, "Don't worry, we're going to get whoever did this."

Major Scandal during their presidency.... Nixon: Watergate Clinton: Waterbed The President's biggest fear.... Nixon: The Cold War Clinton: The Cold Sore Complaints toward the President..... Nixon: Carpet-Bombing Clinton: Carpet-Burns Their Vice-Presidents... Nixon: His was Greek Clinton: His is a Geek. Presidential qualities..... Nixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger. Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing her. Things the President couldn't explain.... Nixon: The missing 18-minutes on the tapes Clinton: The 36D bra in his briefcase Job titles.... Nixon: Ex-President Clinton: Sex-President Slogans.... Nixon: Known for campaign slogan "Nixon's The One" Clinton: Known for women pointi

"Michael Vick shouldn't go to jail for dog fighting." "Why? It's a crime." "Well, it's one thing to fight your friends or someone at a bar, but it's your dog. You should be able to fight him if he gets in your face." "What?"

President Clinton had heard of all the starving people in Somalia, and wanted to get a look for himself. He ordered his aides to prepare Air Force One. On the plane, the president looked down with his binoculars, and said "My God! Look at them! Skinny, starving - where are our troops?" An aide chimed in: "Er, Mr. President... that's not Somalia. It's Arkansas."

Bill Clinton dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St.Peter asks him who he is and what he did. Bill replies, "I am Bill Clinton, and I was president of the United States!" St. Peter says, "Ok, I will take you to meet the Lord." So they go to meet the Lord, who says "Who are you and what have you done?" Clinton replies, "I am Bill Clinton and I was president of the U.S.A.!" The Lord then says, "Come Bill, sit on my right hand." Clinton then sits down to the right of the Lord, extremely happy. Al Gore then dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St. Peter asks him who he is and what he did. Al replies much the same as Bill did, stating that he is Al Gore and was Vice-president of