Q: Why did George Washington sleep standing up? A: He couldn't lie.

Q: Why DIDN`T the skull cross the road? A: Because he didn`t have the guts!

Why did the frog cross the road? A: He was tied onto the chicken.

Fish + alien transpotation = Unidentified Frying Object

Q: What goes, "KCAUQ, KCAUQ"? A: A duck flying backwards!

I believe in evolution and if you don't I will let you meet my relatives.... Then you'll believe me

Q-If the big breasted women work at Hooters, where does the one legged woman work? A-Ihop

Q: How do you help a starving cannibal? A: Give him a hand!

One day in the 1800's a father asked his child to go get some nuts and berries. She went around and got nuts and berries from every boy she knew. When she showed her dad he said, "That's not what I meant!"

Kid says to mom:"The babysitter's an angel! She was naked in the garden and screamed God I'm coming! Lucky daddy was holding her from behind to keep her here!"

What is the new name for a taxi in Oshakati? A computer. Why? It has windows, always crashes, & is driven by a thin black floppy with a virus.

Woman tells man: :"I demand good manners in bed just like at the dinner table." So man gets into bed slowly, smiles & says: "Honey, would u please pass me the vagina?"