Darwin's Answer: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Another of Darwin's Answers: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. Johnny Cochran 's Answer: Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit. Snoop Dogg 's Answer: This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'. Bill Cosby 's Answer: Weeelll, ya see, the chicken crossed the road, and to get... to...the jello pudding pops. Homer Simpson 's Answer: There was free beer on

Yankee Doodle went to town A-riding on his mother Every time he hit a bump He had another brother!

A good friend will say: "I love you!" (In a sarcastic tone) A best friend will say: "I love you, you f***in' b****!"

UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on... Mac Airlines All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ev

Q: What do you call 50 black guys in a hole? A: Afro-Turf

FROM A FARM KID AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT. Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc, but kind of weak o

CLERK: Please repeat after me; "I swear by Almighty God," WITNESS: "I swear by Almighty God." CLERK: "That the evidence that I give," WITNESS: That's right. CLERK: Repeat it. WITNESS: "Repeat it." CLERK: No! Repeat what I said. WITNESS: What you said when? CLERK: "That the evidence that I give," WITNESS: "That the evidence that I give," CLERK: "Shall be the truth, and," WITNESS: It will, and nothing but the truth! CLERK: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..." WITNESS: I'm not a scholar, you know. CLERK: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..." WITNESS: "Shall be the truth and." CLERK: Say: "Nothing." WITNESS: Okay. (Witness

An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked,so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved, "I love you, Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it,they took it home. There, she counted the money. It totaled fifty thousand dollars. Andy said, "We've got to give it back." Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch codnutced at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,it deosn't mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are tpyed,the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit oedrer. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Q: What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree, can kill you? A: A pool table.

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he felt crumby.