That master detective, Sherlock Holmes, was sitting on his chair beside the fireplace calmly reading a book when suddenly, his good partner, Dr. Watson came in. Sherlock Holmes looked at his friend and smiled, saying, "Why, Dr. Watson, don't you think the weather is a bit hot for you to be wearing your red flannel underwear?" Dr. Watson was shocked by this incredible and wonderful logic. "My good man," he gasped, "How did you know I was wearing my red flannel underwear?" Holmes smiled wider and put down his book. He explained, "Elementary, my dear Watson. You forgot to put your pants on."

What did Tennessee? What Arkansas.

It was the little boy's first time on an airplane. He was so excited. When the airplane engines started, the little boy closed his eyes and counted to 100. Then he opened his eyes and peered outside. Pointing, he said to the woman next to him, "See those tiny people down there? They are just like ants!" The woman looked at what he was pointing and remarked, "They are ants. We haven't left the ground yet."

15 Steps to Build a campfire. 1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left thumb. 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments. 4. Bandage left foot. 5. Make structure of slivers(including those embedded in hand). 6. Light match. 7. Light match. 8. Repeat "a scout is cheerful," and light match. 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of flames. 10. Apply Burn ointment to nose. 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood. 12. Upon discovery that fire has gone out during your absence, soak wood with liquid from can labeled "kerosene." 13. Treat face and arms for second degree burns, and relabel your can t

What kind of cheese is not yours? Nacho cheese

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper) Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A. No time at all, as it has already been built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS) Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Three freshman engineering students were sitting around talking between classes, when one brought up the question of who designed the human body. One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses. Another disagreed, and exclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pullies is ingenious. "No," the third student said. "You're both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap the "Whopper"!!!

Angie and John were in court after deciding their divorce when the problem of 'who gets to keep the kid' started to arise. Angie exclaimed that the child was hers since she could take care of the kid better than her 'wretched' husband. But the judge wanted to hear John's reason of why he should keep the baby. After thinking for sometime, John said, "Your honor, let me ask you a question: if you put a dollar inside a vending machine and a coke comes out, does this coke belong to you or does it belong to the vending machine?"

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. Richard M. Nixon: I just want to make one thing perfectly clear. The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken

A boy was late to school on the first day, and his new teacher asked, "What is your name young man?" The boy replied," Michael Gay." The teacher said," Why are you calling a kid gay? What is your name boy?" The boy said, "Michael Gay!" The teacher said," That's ENOUGH young man. Go to the principal's office. THIS SECOND!" The principal saw him and asked him," What is your name young man?" The boy says, " Michael Gay." The principal asks," Why are you calling a gay?" And what is your name?" The boy gets angry and says, "Michael Gay!" The principal says, "Thats it young man, you're suspended! The boy got home and his mother asked," Why are you in trouble?" The boy says, "Michael Gay." The moth

A boy was playing internet games on Yahoo. Finding it hilarious, he had named himself "emilycheesehotchick". One time, while playing pool, his opponent messaged to him "Want to have cyber sex...?" Curiousity took over him, and so he replied "Sure!". Thus followed a hot and mostly one-sided cyber sex, when all of a sudden, his mother came into the room. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" asked his mother. "I...I....I'm having cybersex with someone on Yahoo..." he replied. The mother paused...and then asked, "Are you emilycheesehotchick...?"