This couple is walking to a bank, and they're trying to get at a savings account, when suddenly a bank robber comes in. He tells everyone to get against the wall, then he told the banker to put all the money in the bag. He then walks up to a man, and said, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replies, "Yes." Bang, he shoots him. He gos to another man; "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man gives no answer, then the robber puts the gun up to his head and said, "Did you see me rob this bank?" "Yes," the man replies. The robber shoots him, then he goes up to the couple and once again said, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replies, "No, but my wife did."

A police man arrested a MBA marketing girl.... GIRL: I'M not involved in sex COP:Then what are you doing? GIRL: I am selling condoms and offering a free a trial

One day, I was about to tell my 'Micky Mouse is Mad' joke to my friends, when I get to the part "Mickey Mouse was in the Divorce court..." One of my friends interrupted me and started yelling... "But why is it Mickey Mouse? Why not Steamboat Willie? Or George?" Losing interest, I noticed there was a post-it on my backpack. I threw it to my second friend. He opened it and read 'Fluffy?', and threw it to my first friend droning on and on and on and on and on and.... He said this. "Why is Steamboat Willie the same as Mickey Mouse? Steamboat Willie is a boat driver and Mickey Mouse does NOTHING. He just sits around being all-" then he got the post-it. "FLUFFY? He just sits around being FLUFFY?"

These are quotes from the show SOUTH PARK. If you're a fan, you'll love this! They are the quotes of CARTMAN("the fat ass") Cartman: You so much as TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants. Stan: Jesus, Cartman. Cartman: Well, I'm just sayn', man, seriously, don't mess with kitty, man. Chief Running Water: Your mother is what we Indians call, 'Bear With Wide Canyon.' Cartman: What do you mean? CRW: She is 'Doe Who Cannot Keep Legs Together.' Cartman: Huh? CRW: Your mom's a slut. Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman. Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an

Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book Let's see the results . . . "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry. "Oh, well - I was at Hogwarts meself but I - er - got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything." A magic wang . . . this was what Harry had been really looking forward to. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon, Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work. Your father

A Chinese family of four was eating fried rice for dinner. As always, the half-blind father was last. Thinking that nobody will care if he throws his food out, he does so, as he sees an empty garbage can. The next morning his wife says to him: "Honey, while you were eating dinner I took the garbage out, and now some ee-diot left crap in the box. Please clean it up"

You know how we earn little icons next to our names for the points we get for being active on Wocka? They should do that on Facebook. Only backwards. The longer you are totally inactive, the higher level symbols you get.

A Donkey meets a Buick at the High Road. "Hello car", the Donkey says. "Hello donkey", the Buick replies, when suddenly the Donkey begins to cry. "Oh my" the Buick says. "Why are you crying"? "Well, when i now call you car, you can at least call me horse.

One day, I was bored and I felt like going for a ride on my bicycle. I hadn't been used for a while, since I use my car. So, I dusted it off and went off for a 1 hour ride. I was going down the street and I'm known for my absent mindedness. I didn't notice this guy was crossing the street and I went and bumped into him. Now, this man was mad cause he was wearing his new white pants and my tire got it all dirty. I got off my bike and he gave me a scolding for 2 minutes until some passersby came to my rescue and calmed him down. One of 'em said "Hey, calm down buddy. He's just a kid"(I am 17). And the man says "A kid?! Look at him! He looks like he can MAKE kids now!". I was like "Wha...?

You know what? Everybody is screwed these days. In the office, you're screwed if you don't do you're job well. At home, You're screwed if you don't listen to your parents. At school/college, You're screwed by many- Teachers, bullies, the principal etc... And they say we're all screwed on December 21st 2012! But, these things don't bother me. The one thing that makes me mad is when I'm looking for a virgin and they're ALL screwed!

A boy comes home from school and runs to his father. The boy says ''Dad, a boy in my class calls me a gay'' . ''Oh yeah? Well then beat him up!'' says his dad. The boy replies ''I can't dad!''. ''Why not son?''. The boy looking away says ''Because he's kinda cute''

No cure here. . . .