One morning, Pete and Sally decided to go out for breakfast. The waitress at The Almond Tree told them that the special that morning was two eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, hash browns and toast for $3.99. "That sounds good," said Sally, "but I don't want the eggs." "OK," said the waitress, "but I will then have to charge you $4.50." "Why?" asked Pete, "it doesn't make sense." "Because you will then in effect be ordering a la carte," the waitress replied. "Do you mean I'll have to pay for not taking the eggs?" Sally asked. "Yes," replied the waitress. "OK then, I'll take the special," says Sally. "How do you want your eggs done?" asked the waitress. "Raw and in the shell," Sally replied.

Did you hear about the gay guy that put a Nicotine patch on his penis? He's down to three butts a day!

My bus driver for my school is always trying to say that he's a gangster. But no one ever believes him so the other day I confronted him. So I asked, "are you really a gangster"? He sweated nervously, shaking and then he finally answered "of course I am I'm from the West Side". I did not feel that to be a sufficient answer so I then asked him "West Side of where"? He mumbled to himself a while and then answered me "West Side of Malibu".

5 = diagonals of a pentagon.

9 = diagonals of a hexagon.

4 = 2+2

2 = special administrative regions in China. (Hong Kong and Macau)

Dozen^2 = Gross.

100 = decimeters in a decameter.

101 = keys on a computer keyboard.

Jack and Jill went down the hill.

Jack = 11 in cards.