Category Jokes - Other / Misc
Three hunters, Chuck, Thomas and Mick, are on safari. Unfortunately they are captured by cannibals, who start getting the cooking pots ready. The cannibal chief tells them they can each have one last wish.
"What's your last request?" he asks Chuck, an American.
"I'd like a steak," he replies, so the cannibals kill a wildebeeste and serve Chuck with his steak.
"What do you want?" the cannibal chief asks Thomas, a Londoner. "I'd like to smoke my cigar," which they let him do.
Then the chief asks Mick, an Irishman, "What's your last wish?" "I want you to kick my bum." "Be serious," says the chief. "Please do it - you promised," says Mick.
"OK," says the chief and delivers the requested kic
Harry and his neighbour Joe often borrowed things from each other. One day, Harry asked to borrow Joe's ladder.
Joe said, "Sorry Harry, I've lent it to my son."
Remembering a saying that his grandma often used to tell him, Harry said, "Joe, you should never lend anything to your children because you'll never get it back."
Joe replied, "Don't worry, it's not my ladder - it's my dad's."
Bill and Sarah were Londoners and were blessed with seven healthy children. After many months of discussion, they finally decided to move to New York. It should have been a simple enough move, but when they arrived, they had great difficulty finding a suitable apartment to live in.
Although many were big enough, the landlords always seemed to object to such a large family living there. If only Bill wasn't so honest about the size of his family!
After several days of unsuccessful searching, Bill had an idea. He told Sarah to take the four younger children to visit the local cemetery while he went with the older three children to find an apartment. After looking for most of the morning, Bill
When Jacob was finally given an exit visa by the Russians and allowed to immigrate to Israel, he was told he could only take what he could put into one suitcase. At Moscow airport, he was stopped by customs and an official shouted, "Open your case at once."
Jacob did what he was told. The official searched through his case and pulled out something wrapped in newspaper. He unwrapped it and saw it was a bust of Stalin.
"What is that?" he shouted at Jacob. Jacob replied, "You shouldn't ask 'What is that?' - you should ask 'Who is that?' That is our glorious leader Stalin. I'm taking it to remind me of the wonderful things he did for me and the marvellous life that I am leaving behind."
The o
How It Works
Once upon a time a man told a small village, "I will buy
monkeys for $10 each."
Since there were many monkeys in the forest, the villagers caught them and sold them to the man.
As the supply of monkeys diminished, the villagers' efforts slowed, so the man offered them $20 each.
They renewed their efforts but the supply of monkeys diminished further, so he increased his price to $25.
Soon no one could even find a monkey in the forest.
The man increased his price to $50, but announced, "Since I must go to the city on business, I authorize my assistant to buy monkeys on my behalf."
As soon as his boss was gone, the assistant told the villagers, "My boss has collected lots o
Sleepy just ran back into the house after reading the newspaper and exclaimed, "Everyone! Everyone, the Pope is coming to town this weekend!" Grumpy replies, "Great! Now we can ask him the question!"
The weekend rolls around and they stand in line to speak to the pope, it's finally their turn and they send up Dopey and await for him to ask the Pope their question.
"Umm... Mr. Pope, do... Do they have nuns in Alaska?" asks Dopey. "Well, I do think so, yes they do, son," replied the Pope.
"Tell the rest tell the rest!" yelled the other 6 little annoying midgets. "Umm... do, do they have black nuns in Alaska?" asked Dopey.
"Well.. I don't see why they wouldn't, so yes, they do." replied the
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