did u have a pussy around ur head?

A Welshman, walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hands. He shouts, "Paid a yfed y dwr mae'r gwartheg yn cachi yn y dwr!" (Don't drink the water, there's cow shit in it!) The man shouts back, "I'm English, I don't understand you!" The Welshman calls back, "Use both hands, you'll get more in!"

Racing through the snow a onewarde southern sleigh, all the way we go bahing through the trees, the snow is turning red, I think i'm almost dead, all the children laugh and play around my stupid head!

ALWAYS must WIN. BORROW but never RETURN. CHEAP is GOOD. DON'T TRUST anyone. EVERYTHING also must GRAB. FREE! FREE! FREE!!! GRAB first TALK later. HELP yourself to EVERYTHING. i FIRST, i WANT, i EVERTHING. JUMP queue. KEEP coming back for MORE. LOOK for DISCOUNTS. MUST not lose FACE. NEVER mind what they THINK. OUTDO everyone you know! PAY only when NECESSARY. QUIT while you're ahead. RUSHING and PUSHING wins the RACE. SAMPLES are always WELCOME. TAKE but don't GIVE. UNLESS it's FREE, FORGET it. VOW to be NUMBER ONE. WINNERS takes it ALL! ALL!! ALL!!! X'TRA = MORE YELL if necessary to GET what you WANT! ZEBRAS are KIASU before they want to be BLACK AND WHITE at the same time. Are one of th

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball, suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head and passes the three women. He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says. He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either." She says, also not recognizing the unit. He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her. "Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."

Is One Foot Enough??? A girl in the U.S. lived very far away from her mother. One day, the girl became engaged but discovered her fiance had only one foot. The girl, surprised sent her mother a letter asking for advice. The letter began, "Mother, my husband has only one foot..." The mother upon receiving the letter was confused on why that was a problem. She immediately wrote back to her daughter saying, "Dear, one foot is enough. your father has only 7 inches!!!"

Once upon a time, there was a man holding a magical lamp, he went to a bar where he then got a drink. The bartender sees him and asks him to chat, the man says,"I have a magical lamp rite here!" The bartender says," Wow, does this mean I can wish for a million bucks." The man goes, "Yes!" Bartender goes:" I wish for a million bucks!" POOF! The air is filled with 1 million ducks. The bartender outraged says," Hey you cheated me!" The man goes, "Hey it ain't that easy!" *Sorry, Did my best

A stockbroker is beginning his jail sentence for fraud, and meets his cell-mate for next seven years. He stares in shock at the weirdo next to him, when the psycopath says, "Don't worry, I'm in here for a white-collar crime as well." The stockbroker is very relieved, and asks what crime the man had committed. The wild-haired, unkempt freak replies, "I killed a priest!"

What is a pirate's favorite food? Taco Bell's cARRne asada.

A man was boasting to his friend, "You know, I am a well known collector of antiques." His friend replied, "Yes, I know, I have seen your wife." Tom: I went out fishing with my wife this morning. Sam: You're lucky, I'm still using worms. "Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. Why Dad? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, son, she didn't get the fax." A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"

汤姆教授有事，无法教下午的课。于是去教室黑板上写了个通知： Prof. Tom will not meet his classes this afternoon. 有个调皮的学生看到后，想跟教授开个玩笑，把classes前面的c擦 掉了。 汤姆教授中午路过教室时又顺路进去了一下，忍不住笑了，随手又 擦掉了l。

umfriend（嗯朋友）是一個新字，最近已經被放進美國字典的用字。 它是一個名詞，意思是「有曖昧不明或不可告人關係的朋友」。 它的起源很有趣： 假設有這樣一個情境，你帶一個朋友回住處，你們當天晚上發生了性關係， 完事之後（或者尚未完事），你室友（或家人）回來撞見你們兩個．．． 因為，你們不想讓別人知道你們的關係， 所以，你們可能還滿神色慌張的（或著衣衫不整）。 室友或家人可能用著懷疑的眼光打量著你們， 心虛的你為了讓這種尷尬場面趕快過去， 只好趕快把這位朋友介紹一下（講時還有é»