You go to sleep on the couch in your living room one night, but you find yourself unable to get any sleep. You realize it is probably because you are hungry, so you go and make a pb&j, and eat it. ..... You lay back down. ...... After a while, you get sorta thirsty, so you get up again and go get a drink of rootbeer. GULP~GULP~GULP~....BURP! ...... You lay back down. ..... Still no sleep. You do what everybody recommends - you count sheep. 1...2...3...4....5.... You have to go to the bathroom from all of that rootbeer. .... You lay back down. ...... Still no sleep, so you start singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," to yourself - but when you finish, you are still not tired. You say y

Who composed the Unfinished Symphony? Sherbet.

Can you decipher this phrase? U P Broken up!

Can you decipher this phrase? Weather Cast Cast Cast Cast Weather forecast!

What does this represent? W A T E R Waterfall!

CONGRATULATIONS! WHY? BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE OF THE VERY VERY VERY FEW WHO READ THE README FILE! But because the other, huge percentage do NOT, we moved the actual contents of this file into IGNOREME file because the chances for most of the people to read IGNOREME are at least the chances to read README (more than that, we believe they are really much higher). So now, go read IGNOREME with the actual contents what you would have expected here.

This is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86-year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of pena

Let's test your IQ............. 1. man ----------- board Ans. man overboard 2. stand ----------- i I understand ok?....get the drift? Let's try a few now & see how you fare. 3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/ Reading between the lines 4. r road a d Crossroad 5. cycle cycle cycle Tricycle 6. t

One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel, in the morning I go down to eat a breakfast. I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her "I wanna two pieces". She say "Go to the toilet". I say "you don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate". She say to me, "you better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch". I do not even know this lady and she call me a sonnawabitch!! Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waiter brings me a Spoon and a knief but no fock. I tell her "I wanna a fock" and she tella me : "everyone wanna fuck". I tella her " you don't understand me...I wanna fock on the table". She say : "you better not fuck on the tab

1. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley's Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen. 2. US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen. 3. The "57″ on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had. 4. Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world's garbage annually. On average, that's 3 pounds a day per person. 5. Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels. 6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn't digest itself. 7. Ninety-eight percent of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the

51. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos. 52. The numbers "172″ can be found on the back of the US 5 dollar bill, in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial. 53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That's more than sharks. 54. Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday. 55. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before it. 56. The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672. 57. The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WWII killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. 58. The average raindrop falls at 7 miles per hour. 59. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa. He never

101. About 14% of injecting drug users are HIV positive. 102. A word or sentence that is the same front and back (racecar, kayak) is called a "palindrome". 103. A snail can sleep for 3 years. 104. People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide. 105. China has more English speakers than the United States. 106. Finnish folklore says that when Santa comes to Finland to deliver gifts, he leaves his sleigh behind and rides on a goat named Ukko instead. According to French tradition, Santa Claus has a brother named Bells Nichols, who visits homes on New Year's Eve after everyone is asleep, and if a plate is set out for him, he fills it with cookies