As most young, weak, and smart kids are, Ken was picked on constantly by the bullies in school. They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just made his life downright miserable. It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he figured out what would get them back, he went all out. He was on the bus where he normally got his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like small brown balls in it. He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth making it obvious to the rest of the kids as possible by making yum yum noises. The bully, without asking, snatched th

There was a king who was memorizing a script to tell everyone in the land that everyone got free chocolate. But really it was filled with poison to kill them all. A guard walked by and said in a whisper, "Remember it is filled with poison, but do not say it is filled with poison. Understand?" The King responded, "Yes, I do." The king was deaf in one ear so he often times missed what people say. He walked up to the microphone. He said, "I know you all love delicous chocolate. So I've decided to give you all special gift. Who want's to know?" Everyone hollered out "I do!" So the king hollered, "Okay then! Free Poisonous Chocolate for all!"

A busdriver was driving 50 kids to camp. They were passing a big deep lake that was beautiful and cyan. One kid asked the nice busdriver, "Can we go in that lake?" The busdriver replies "sure. can you swim?" The kids say, "Yes but only in very, very shallow water." The busdriver never saw this lake before, he thought it was shallow. People nearby were stunned to see a bus full of kids turn and drive right into the lake.

My friend works in a post office. One day, a man handed ten postcards to my friend and ask her to put them in the mailbox. She noticed that they had all been addressed but none of them contained a message, so she asked the man why the postcards nothing written on them. The man said, "I told everyone that I'd send postcards, but I didn't say I'd write a message."

One day, a customer walked into a pet shop and told the clerk, "I need two small, gray mice and about five dozen roaches." Puzzled, the shop attendant asked the reason for this strange request. "Well, I'm moving out of my apartment and my lease told me that I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found them."

There was a magical mirror that showed the prettiest and ugliest people in the world. The mirror said that May Honzirop was the prettiest and the ugliest was Shakira Hobo. May was going to go in front of millions of people to get a Guinness world record. The mirror said, the day before May went on stage, "I think you'll brag about all your "success" and just become unpopular again." May replied, "SHUT UP, YOU STUPID MIRROR! I WILL THROW YOU AWAY AFTER I'M DONE!" It was the next day. She was on stage with Shakira Hobo. She announced, "Now the mirror will choose the prettiest and the ugliest people." The mirror was still upset, but decided to answer anyway. The mirror announced to about 2

John always bullied Pat, so Pat invited him to the meat factory. The next day, on the menu at McDonalds, there was a new thing called: Bully Big Mac, and John french fries.

(A continuation of Joke #7939 Idiot #9 - - - - - - A woman called the cops from her house and said, "My ex-boyfriend stole my pot!" So the police went to the ex-boyfriends house, took the marijuana, and arrested him. The same officer went to the woman's house and asked her to identify if it was her pot. She confirmed it was hers, and was taken away in the police car.

Want to hear a really big joke? JOKE!

Want to hear a backwards joke? ekoj

What starts with 'P' and ends in 'orn' : Popcorn

In the hospital, a nurse is asking an old man what is his weight. The man is unsure about his weight so the nurse suggests that it is better if he check his weight now. He goes to the weighing scale and stands on it, then he goes back to the nurse. The nurse let him fill the form by himself. After he fills it, he gives it back to the nurse. When the nurse reads his weight, she is surprised that the man wrote, "82 kg - with glasses," there. The nurse asks the man, "Why must you write 'with glasses' there? I only ask for your weight. Why don't you write down your weight without the glasses?" "Because I can't read the scales and write without my glasses," the man replied.