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Dad: Son what is the difference a penis and a loaf of bread? Son: I don't know. Dad: Then remind me to never send you to the store for a loaf of bread.

Registered users can get special icons next to their names that signify certain accomplishments. To learn how points are awarded, please visit our rules page. Icons are awarded as follows: Green Star~~~= User has submitted 5 jokes. Red Star~~~~~= User has submitted 10 jokes. Blue Star~~~~= User has submitted 50 jokes. Glod Star~~~~= User has submitted 100 jokes. Rainbow Star~= User has submitted 200 jokes. Red Dot~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= User has cast 10 votes. Small Dartboard~~~~~~~~~= User has cast 50 votes. Medium Dartboard~~~~~~~~= User has cast 100 votes. Large Dartboard~~~~~~~~~= User has cast 250 votes. Dartboard with 1 Arrow~~= User has cast 500 votes. Dartboard with 2 Arrow

First, go to Wocka's Joke Home Page. There you will see the Daily Joke of the Day. In that box, (in the bottom-right corner) there are 3 links. The bottom link says "Get Daily Jokes Via E-Mail"; that is what you click. Make sure we have your correct email address and press the button: Newsletter Your Email Address: Subscribe Unsubscribe Do It We hate spam just as much as you do. Your email address will never be shared or sold to anyone. Your information is kept private and is only used for sending the daily joke. You can unsubscribe at any time by following the link at the bottom of the daily email or by coming back to this page. If you are under the age of 13, please get your

Q: Imagine you are stuck in a cell, no windows, no doors pretty much nothing. How do you get out? A: -Stop imagining!-

Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages. Windex Do not spray in eyes. Bowl Fresh Safe to use around pets and children, although, it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet. Toilet Plunger Caution: Do not use near power lines. Dremel Electric Rotary Tool This product not intended for use as a dental drill. Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter Safe to use around pets. Endust Duster This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances. Baby Oil Keep out of reach of children L

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every second one! I figure, no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three for each three they unlock!

Maybe it's true that life begins at 40. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory, the other two I forget. Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of the tortoise section. Later, the keeper dropped by to see how the young man was doing and found him standing by an empty enclosure with the gate open. "Where are the tortoises?" he asked. "I can't believe it," said the new employee, "I just opened the door and whooooosh, they were gone!"

1. Slow people always walk side by side, even if they don't know each other. 2. They drive side by side, too. If they can't find another slow driver to pair up with, they drive in the fast lane. 3. Slow walkers never look back. When they drive, they never look in their rear view mirrors, either. 4. Slow people drift sideways so they'll block the path of anyone trying to pass them. If two people or vehicles are trying to get around them at the same time, they drift into the path of the one that is moving at the highest speed. 5. Follow behind a slow person in the grocery store and you'll wind up with soggy ice cream every time.