If you were a boy and your parents named you dick. Wouldn't you be embarassed and change your name officially?

Now I lay me down to sleep With the boy across the street Won't my mommy be surprised When my tummy starts to rise Won't my daddy be disgusted When he finds my cherry's busted.

One day my cousin says, "Oh, I love your hair. Show me how you do it!" "OK," I reply. "OK?" my cousin says; "you're not supposed to say OK! You're supposed to have a temper tantrum and scream, 'No! It's MY secret and I'm not going to tell you!' OK?" "You're just being stupid as usual. Leave me alone." Little cousins. *SHISH!* A few weeks later she comes up to me and says, "I like your make-up. Can you show me how to do make-up?" "You're too young," I reply. Now she's got the hissy fit going on (AGAIN). "I am NOT TOO YOUNG! Show me how to do make-up or I'll bite myself than tell Mama you did it like all those other times I said you bit me!" She yells. I turn around and say, "Too L

Question: If the world was a jacket where would the people from the ghetto go? Answer:In da Hood!

Cat Lover or not, this is hysterical! We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the

Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question, but it will make you think. It is as it reads: No one I know got the answer right---including me. The scenario.... A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a man she didn't know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy, that she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and couldn't find him. A few days later she killed her sister. Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? (Give this some thought before you answer). Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at a

Go to this website ... I know some people might say that this isn't a joke, but it's really funny if you go to the website. Trust me. http://www.dr-joe.net/quiz.html It doesn't have any viruses.

Go to this website ... I know some people might say that this isn't a joke, but it's really funny if you go to the website. Trust me. It doesn't have any viruses. http://home.comcast.net/~wolfand/

Idiot #1 Yankton, South Dakota: A woman was arrested at her step son's Boy Scout meeting. While watching a policeman demonstrate his drug dog's ability, the dog found a bag of grass in her purse. Idiot #2 A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested. Idiot #3 Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant

Q: Why did the condom fly across the room A: It was pissed off!!

Reasons why high school english teachers retire early. Actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays: 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 4. She grew on him like she was a

AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented All Un-informed Drivers Insulted All Unnecessary Devices Installed BMW Big Money Works Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time DODGE Dumb Old Dirty Gas Eater Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere FORD Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road, Dead Fast Only Rolling Downhill GM General Maintenance GMC Garage Man's Companion HONDA Had One Never Did Again Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else. Hated Old Noisy Damaged Auto HY