Jokes
Category Jokes - Other / Misc
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Why does jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the scent virtually disappears? Can a unborn baby fart or burp? If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count? If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness? Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats? Why is there never a full English dinner or tea but there is always a full English breakfast? What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question? Is it possible to be allergic to water? Wh
My friend told me these songs about Barney. I hope you like them. (In rhythm to I Love You) I hate you You hate me We're a violent family With a great big gun and a bang from me to you Won't you say you hate me too. (In rhythm to Joy To The World) Joy to the world Barney's dead I barbequed his head What happened to his body I flushed it down the potty And around and around it goes And around and around it And around and around around around it goes
What disease frightens ghosts the most? BoOoOo-bonic Plague What's the difference between girl ghosts and boy ghosts? BoOoOo-bies
Q: Why are scissors such good dancers? A: Because of their sharp moves.
Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly comfortable existence on what he earned working at the Wal-Mart, but he always dreamed of being rich. "Felix!" he exclaimed one day, "We're going to be rich! I'm going to teach you how to fly!" Felix, of course, was terrified at the prospect: "I can't fly, you idiot...... I'm a frog, not a canary!" Clarence, disappointed at the initial reaction, told Felix: "That negative attitude of yours could be a real problem. I'm sending you to class." So Felix went to a three day class and learned about problem solving, time management, and effective communication.... but nothing about flyin
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. 2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. 3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master 4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage 5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students "without passing through the minds of either". 6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 8. Tears
Q> What kind of soup do gay Chinese men like? A> Cream of sum yun guy
DOS Beer Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available. ----------------------------------------------------------- Mac Beer At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the ca
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? Last night I p
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