A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of six," he would say, "get me a beer!" "Hey mother of six, what's for dinner tonight?" This situation persisted to boiling point. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yelled out, "Hey, mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife seized the moment and shouted back, "I'll be right with you - father of four!"

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight. The mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

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There was a farmer who was very protective of his daughters. Before every date, he would meet the young man at the porch with his shotgun, and if he didn't measure up, he'd make sure they left. One day all three of his daughters were going out on the same night. The first young man drove up and approached the porch. "Hi, my name is Joe, I'm here to get Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer liked this guy, and let him leave with his daughter. Shortly, the next guy drove up and approached the porch. "Hi, my name is Freddy, I'm here to get Betty, we're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer liked this guy too, and let him leave with his second daughter.

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he asks. "I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he is dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor. ''You bastard," says the husband. "My wife is having a heart attack an

After a party, one man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 o'clock in the morning?" the officer asked. "I'm going to a lecture," the man said. "And who would be giving this lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," the guy replied.

A groom and his bride are standing at the alter when the woman looks at her prospective husband and sees he has a set of golf clubs. "What on earth are you doing with those golf clubs in church?" she whispers. "Well," he replies, "this won't take all afternoon, will it?"

A little old lady answered her door only to be confronted by a young vacuum cleaner salesman. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money," and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door. "Don't be too hasty," he said, "not until you've seen my demonstration." With that he emptied a bucket of dirt onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner doesn't remove all traces of this dirt from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder." "Well," she said, "I h

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?" The husband replies, "Autumn."

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and rela

When the phone rang, she excused herself from the sofa. A few seconds later she rejoined her male companion. "Who was it?" he asked. "My husband," she replied. "I better get going," he said. "Where was he?" "Relax. He'll be late, he's playing poker with you."

As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon, the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. "How did everything go?" her mom asked. "Oh, mother," she began, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible language. Stuff I'd never heard before. Really terrible four-letter words. You've got to come get me and take me home. Please, Mother!" the new bride sobbed over the telephone. "But, honey," the mother countered, "What four-letter words?" "I can't tell you, mother, they're too awful! Come get me, please!" "Darling, you must tell me what has gotten you so upset.... Tel