(A man comes to my register with a mint chocolate candy bar.) Me: "Anything else?" Customer: "Can you break a $100 bill?" Me: "Actually, I can't. We just opened and I haven't gone to the bank today." Customer: "Oh, no! Do you know anywhere I can get change? I need this candy right away!" (At this point I notice his panicked look. Coupled with the fact that he's buying the most unappetizing candy in the store, I jump to a conclusion.) Me: "Sir, these aren't for you, are they?" Customer: "No." Me: "Did your pregnant wife send you out at 8 in the morning to buy this candy?" Customer: "Yes." Me: "For the love of God, man! Get these home to her before you're in even more trouble! You ca