Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Q - Why is there a big "E" on top of the standard eye chart at the optometrist's office? A - The reason is if there was a big "O" on the chart women would lie about seeing it.

Why do men pick their noses while driving? Because their butts are too hard to reach!

A man comes home after a party drunk. When he interrogates his wife about who she is, she replies, "I'm your wife! Did you forget me?" The man says, "Sorry, drinking makes me forget my pain."

A man asked a woman,"Will you marry me?" The woman replied,"No." They both lived happily ever after!

Why did the husband ask the wife before they were married to find her own friends for life? Because like most marriages he knows they will hate each other one day and she will need help from her friends or she commit suicide.

Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywher

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said, "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied, "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

Perfect breasts (o)(o) Silicone breasts ( + )( + ) Perky breasts (*)(*) Big nipple breasts (@)(@) A cups o o D cups { O }{ O } Wonder bra breasts (oYo) Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) Lopsided breasts (o)(O) Pierced Breasts (Q)(O) Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p) Grandma's Breasts \ o /\ o / Against The Shower Door Breasts ( )( ) Android Breasts | o | | o | Mamogram Breasts (_)(_) Martha Stewart's Breasts ($)($)

After years of hiding the fact that the love is gone, Mom and Dad announced to their grown children that they're getting a divorce. The kids were totally distraught and, as a stab at keeping their parents together, arranged a series of sessions for the whole family with a world-famous marriage counselor. The counselor worked for hours, tried all of his methods and tricks, but the parents wouldn't even talk to each other. Finally, he walked over to a closet, brought out an oboe, and began to play. After a minute or so, the parents started talking and, as the counselor continued soloing on the oboe, the couple discovered they're not that far apart and decided to give their marriage anoth

University scientists have released the results of a recent analysis that reveals the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. It turns out that the "hops" in beer contain certain phyto-estrogens, and scientists believe that be drinking enough beer, men may turn into women. In the study, 100 male volunteers were asked to drink 8 pints of beer in one hour. The results were observed and recorded. At the end of one hour, every single subject had developed female characteristics and the test was terminated. The data is provided below: After one hour, 100% of the test subjects: 1. gained weight. 2. talked excessively without making sense. 3.