When was the price of milk the highest? When the cow jumped over the moon.

What is red, black, has ten eyes, and crawls? I do not know but it is on your head.

Part 1 One day, Doraemon was walking down street. He saw Hello Kitty approaching him. Excited by the encounter, he walked towards Hello Kitty and said, "Good morning". Sadly, Hello Kitty did not reply him. Why? Answer: Hello Kitty has no mouth. ------------------------------------ Part 2 Unhappy that she broke Doraemon's feelings, Hello Kitty decided to bring along a video recorder with the words "Good Morning" recorded by someone else. She saw Doraemon crossing the street, so she approached him and pressed the button: "Good morning". This time, Doraemon did not reply her. Why? Answer: Doraemon has no ears.

Paddy tells Mick he's thinking of buying a Labrador dog. "Oh, I wouldn't if I were you!", says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

One fine day.... you're just walking by.... You look at this bird.... it shits in your eye.... You don't swear.... you don't cry.... You just thank God.... that cows don't fly....

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken and the road can't agree on anything.

It's so easy, it makes pie look hard.

What s green and hangs from a tree??? Giraffe Boogers

Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer." The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming." "Yes I do!" "Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?" "Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down." "Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?" "Well, then I'll takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down." "Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites

What did the father buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? - Bison!

CAT: 1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As the cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bo

One time I was walking and I saw a deer then a turkey comes out and the turkey and deer interact by speaking in human words then all of a sudden a really bright light formed and the deer and turkey have fused to make a durkey a dear and turkey combined it has a head of a deer and the body of the turkey after that this was on the news and they said it could be seen from Africa(No permanent eye damage was reported)so then a passer by the next day(I was in that same area where the turkey and deer fused)took the durkey and that guy who ate it became that same turkey(The one the deer talked to before fusing)but the good ole friend the deer was gone that passer by became the turkey but the deer go