Q: How can you tell that an elephant is in the bathtub with you? A: By the smell of peanuts on its breath.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toes yellow? A: So they can hide upside down in the custard.

Q: What did the Dallas chief of police say when the elephant walked into the police station? A: Nothing! He didn't notice.

Q: Why do elephants have big ears? A: Because Noddy would not pay the ransom!

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant? A: Have you ever seen a yellow elephant?

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant? A: Hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a purple elephant? A: Paint him red, hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.

Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini? A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.

Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini? A: None. It's full of elephants.

Q: How do you get two whales in a Mini? A: Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.

Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.